Roots of Empathy

Babies in class can change the world
They boost empathy among students, tackle problem of bullying

When economists, politicians and demographers see a wee, pink-skinned baby they think of future potential.

This baby is raw material, they say. This baby will be a worker, wealth builder and taxpayer.

When Mary Gordon sees a baby she thinks of its perfect, present potential. Babies are sages, mentors and teachers, she says. Be present with a baby and out pops your humanity.

Let me introduce Mary Gordon. Ten years ago, this former Ontario teacher launched a program that spread across the country and is internationally recognized for its effectiveness in addressing bullying.

Called Roots of Empathy, the program takes babies into school classrooms for regular visits during the year. Mom comes along with the baby. So does an instructor, with a specialized curriculum.

The baby is put on a blanket in the middle of the kids. The kids touch the baby. In some cases they hold the baby. Songs are sung. Paintings are painted. All the while, the class discusses the baby, its needs, its feelings.

"It's like it becomes their baby," says Erin Newell-Lupien, mother of Maddie, an Edmonton Roots of Empathy baby. "They become like proud moms."

Gordon tells the story of one junior-high kid who'd been in and out of foster homes most of his young life. He looked tough, with a shaved head, top-knot and tattoos.

One day, during one Roots of Empathy visit, he asked if he could hold the baby. This was a boy who, at four years of age, had witnessed his mother's murder. He'd been into self-mutilation.

The mother explained to the boy how the baby was a bit fussy and didn't like being cuddled.

"But the baby snuggled right into him," says Gordon. "That brilliant little baby smiled at him the whole time. The mother never broke gaze, but the boy came back in a few minutes and very tenderly gave the baby back to the mom."

When he was done, this tough kid turned to the women with a heart-wrenching question: "Do you think that if no one ever loved you, that you could still be a good father?"

Kids like that will change the world, Gordon believes. Not only do they care more for others, but they begin to see themselves as caring people.

Gordon says study after study reveals that a lack of empathy is at the core of most, if not all, societal ills. How can you harm someone, steal from them, cause them injury, if you feel deeply for them?

"If we ever want sustainable peace in the world, well, it is not achievable without empathy." How does the program reduce aggression and bullying in schools? Not through warnings or zero tolerance. Instead, the instructor will ask the kids to describe how they'd feel if their baby was bullied later in life.

"The children are rightfully horrified," says Gordon. "Bullying then becomes very real for them because of this little baby. You create a sense of solidarity because of this little baby.

"Children have an amazing sense of social justice," she adds. "Every kid knows what's not fair. The only reason they don't stand up to bullies is they're afraid it's going to happen to them. The difference in Roots of Empathy is they know someone will help them."

Gordon says the program can be particularly dramatic for little boys, who are still being socialized to hide vulnerable feelings. Research shows little girls in kindergarten know twice as many words to express feelings as little boys.

"So there is a huge increase in the boys' emotional literacy," says Gordon. "And I don't just mean emotional vocabulary. The research points to greater social and emotional understanding."

Anecdotal evidence from teachers and lunchroom supervisors is that it's easy to pick out Roots of Empathy kids, who are much more inclusive in their play and supportive of each other.

"The baby is the catalyst," says Gordon. "Everything they learn about the baby helps them reflect on and understand themselves."

Strangely, the program isn't as widespread in Edmonton as in other cities. Why? No one knows for sure.

But there were 18 babies in Edmonton classrooms this year, teaching 450 young school children. Those 18 babies will graduate at a ceremony this Friday and be recognized as full-fledge empathy teachers. Gordon hopes word will spread in Edmonton. But the local program requires some practical help, too.

"We need babies," says Gordon. "We absolutely need babies."

That is your challenge, Edmonton. Get to work.

(For more information, go to www.rootsofempathy.org)

Scott McKeen
© The Edmonton Journal 2006


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"Do you think that if no one ever loved you, that you could still be a good father?"
Oh, that tears me.